Dalam otak.

Merangkak-rangkak aku merungkai
apa ada dalam otak.
Yang aku lihat
hanya serabut pikiran,
falsafah atau mungkin,
spekulasi
yang buat diri tak lena tidur
dan bila mata dipejam
sampai mengganggu
bunga-bunga tidur
yang membuai rasa.

Cukuplah
kalau aku bilang
dalam otak ini serabut
sampai kau mungkin takut
dan
biarlah
aku sendiri rungkaikan
apa yang berselirat
kerana bila ditanya,
jawapan aku
cuma satu
itu serabut pemikiran
manusia yang lemah
lagi tak berdaya
menahan rasa
yang mudah alpa.

(This was written to fulfill someone's request, "Tulis apa yang ada dalam otak awak")

Tentang Seseorang I

Dan tentang seseorang,
ada idealisme yang buat
seantero manusia kagum.
Mulanya dilihat polos
tapi polos tak langsung berongga,
lantas mencuit jiwa-jiwa yag berbicara.

Dan tentang seseorang,
adalah butit-butir omongan
yang tertulis tapi tak tersurat,
yang tersirat tapi tak terniat,
melainkan bila berperi,
buat manusia ternganga diam terkesima.

Dan tentang seseorang,
antusiasme yang tak pernah padam
buat diri ini ikut berapi
biar roh yang gagah itu merosakkan
batin-batin biadap, jahanam serta durjana.
Ada rasa kagum dalam hati
lalu energi meresap ke seluruh pelusuk bumi.

Dan tentang seseorang,
lembut tuturnya,
berjuta pesan singgah ke telinga,
tapi cekal dalam jiwanya
mampu meruntuhkan halus kejahatan,
mampu menaikkan jiwa kelemahan,
mampu menjadi suara pada yang daif,
mampu menyentuh hati-hati keras dan solid.

Dan tentang seseorang,
adalah dia yang
aku kagum,
dari jauh menyimpan tekad,
seperti dia
aku bercita-cita.

Responsibility.

We often accept the responsibilities we think we deserve and take for granted the responsibilities we think we don't deserve. Either way, it is still a responsibility. We sometimes accept both or decline both. Responsibility is given to us because there are people who believe we can handle it well. However, as time goes by, we eventually get tired of the responsibilities and we decide to stop doing whatever tasks given to us. Our performances gradually decline and yes, we realized that we are not doing well with ourselves and the responsibilities. However, we won't do anything about it just because we are tired.

That was a rant. An irrational rant. It should not be that way.

It should be this way. Responsibility is given to us because they trust us. Most importantly, a responsibility given to us is a sign that Allah wants us to do the things we should do or we must do instead of wasting time doing things which won't give any benefits to us and the society. So, be grateful with the responsibilities we receive. It may take most of your time and lessen your time to do the things you have always been doing all this while but believe me, there is a reason, why the responsibility is given to you. Either Allah wants you to learn or Allah wants you to make a change towards a group of people. Whatever it is, be grateful & with great power come great responsibility.

RS.

Aku dan peta dunia.

Acap kali aku ditegur

kerana terlalu leka melihat peta, 

bukanlah peta mencari jalan pulang 

tapi hamparan peta dunia 

yang sering aku tatapkan,

bukan kerana menyimpan niat 

mahu terbang ke seantero dunia,

bukanlah juga cuba mencari 

tanah tumpah darah hamba

tapi kerana hati meronta-ronta 

tatkala diri lemah tak terdaya.

Anak mata bergerak perlahan 

ke tengah peta, 

melilau mata mencari Mesir,

revolusi yang tercetus diharap berakhir

agar anak-anak kecil mampu terus 

ketawa bahagia.

Hati remuk dihiris belati

sekilas pandang yang di utara,

Konflik lama yang tetap aktual,

Teguhlah,

teguhlah wahai jiwa-jiwa Palestina,

hati dituntut agar kita

terus tegar berjihad, 

mencari keadilan dalam kekeruhan.

Menyelusuri lautan Hindi, 

bersaksikan kesukaran hidup 

insan-insan di Somalia, Ethiopia dan 

senarai itu satu persatu merumus 

benua Afrika itu sendiri

cukup untuk menginjak paradigma kita,

Apakah kemiskinan kita hanya lihat 

dengan mata kasar?

Apakah yang kaya makin kaya, yang miskin makin miskin 

akan terus kita banggakan 

dan apakah itu yang kita katakan 

pembangunan ekonomi?

Jauh di sudut kota New York 

itu sendiri,

melewati lewat malam 

kurang 0 darjah selsius

ada hati-hati yang meratapi

jiwa-jiwa untuk prihatin dan ingat pada mereka.

Lantas di sebalik diri ini, 

ada sekelumit angan-angan 

untuk jadi Wonder Woman

atau Burka Avenger atau hanya diri sendiri

untuk bangun melangkah mengubah dunia.

Atau adakah aku akan terus

menjadi pemerhari peta dunia membiarkan 

kuasa-kuasa besar menindas yang lemah?

Biar peta dunia tetap di situ,

biar peta dunia itu mampu 

menjadi inspirasi untuk aku

bersama-sama yang lain

menjadi satu.

To my anchor.

An anchor,
not made from steel but silver,
strong, faithful to the shore,
but most of all,
the only thing that can stop the ship from moving away.

No.
Being an anchor to me is not a bad thing,
in fact, it is the only good thing one can do for me.
The whole world will thank you for willingly anchoring me
when everyone else has given up on me.

It might be the hardest, trickiest journey you ever experienced
It gets harder when the lightning strikes,
when the ocean hurts and
when the waves hit.

No.
You don't want to be my anchor.
When you're the only person I wish
to stay and deal with.

To whom it may concern.

I wrote this for you. Whoever you may be; my family, my friends or even strangers. You may read this right after I publish it. You may read this 1 week from now or you may read this in 20 or 30 years to come.

It's the 12th day of the year 2014, well, another day, another year I would say. As days pass by, we are all becoming a different person. To better or to worse. But today, right now, I believe, I would want to change. Definitely to a better someone, striving for duniawi and ukhrawi.

Let me warn you. This is a rant and it is going to be a long rant. But it's not about me. It's not about you. It's about us.

Dear parents, I know, as years pass by, I grow older. From a baby, to a kid, to a teenager and now, to an adult. I have never been a parent and I'm pretty sure, I don't know at all how it feels like to see your children growing up from year to year. Just so you know, at this stage of life, I still need you. I definitely can earn my own money. I definitely can take my own flight alone going back and forth to other countries. I absolutely can cook for myself and you don't have to worry at all about me not having food to eat because I am now, one independent adult. But, I would have to admit, there comes a time when life isn't being nice to me and the only person I would want to cry to is you. I am definitely an adult now, having my own life but that doesn't mean, I don't need you. In fact, I need you more than ever now.

Dear siblings, we have our own life. You do something for living I totally have no idea what is it or you probably busy with your new family and you probably think we have our own life. But, no, I lied. We don't have our ultimate own life because somewhere along the way, unconsciously, we include each other in our life through thick and thin, through sickness and health. I may never tell you this before but I am grateful to have you as my siblings and deep down inside, I hope, we remain this way till death do us apart.

Dear family, near and far. We may never talk before or we may be very close. & whatever we are, I am grateful to have you as they say, blood is thicker than water. Let's respect, appreciate and love each other for whatever we are. We are family after all. We are family for reasons and I believe, family will always have the special place in my heart.

Dear best friends, I hope you know I am talking about you. We have been friends for almost 8 years, we have been friends for almost 3 years and even after all these years that we have been away from each other, different universities, different countries, yet I still long for your existence whenever I need someone to talk to. I know I can't always be there for you and you can't always be there for me but, I will forever cherish the friendship that we have because you are the person that I am always comfortable to talk to and accept me just the way I am. Tell you what, whatever happens, we will always have each other.

Dear friends, it's good to have you guys with me especially when we all are far away from our family. It's good to know that there will always be someone to wake me up for fajr. It's good to know there will always be someone to take care of me, to be there for me to listen to my stories. It's one of the nikmat I hope I will never take for granted. I don't ask much but I hope you would always remind me of Him. To guide me and to pray for me to be a better person in dunya and hereafter.

Dear friends, old friends, near and far, I know, I myself don't know how to maintain a relationship. I am very bad at it. Well, I do want to talk to you. I probably don't really know how to communicate on the social sites. You probably don't know that I read your tweets and laugh at your text in the whatsapp group. I miss you but I probably a little insecure thinking you might not be thinking about me at all. But it's good seeing achievements and achievements of yours and knowing that we are successful in our own ways. Keep it up. Let's strive to be better and let's strive to attain the best of our life.

Dear everyone, we are all aware of what's happening in the world. Violence, corruption etc etc. It breaks my heart everytime I hear the news of what's happening in Syria, Egypt, Palestine or even other countries in the world. Well, not just that, it breaks my heart knowing there are homeless loitering around the City of Kuala Lumpur, or even New York when we all could sleep soundly on a comfy bed. Yet we keep on complaining and not being happy with what we have. It's very distracting not knowing what education really is, it's very distracting knowing that sometimes life can be very unfair to certain people or us. It's very depressing to know that there are people who are not loved and being ignored. It's very depressing to know that now, killing, raping and stealing are the norms we are taking for granted. It's very frustrating to know leaders are not doing their best to take care of us. It's very distracting to not being able to list out all the problems, corruptions and flaws which are happening around the world today. But most of all, it's very frustrating to know some of us are being ignorant and don't even care about those problems. Who am I to preach this, after all. I myself am not doing too well in this but I would like to urge each and everyone of us to at least be grateful with what we have and pray for them. Our life just don't revolve around ourselves. We have the responsibility not just to ourselves but to our family, friends and the community around us. Changing the world may sound ambitious but it's never too late to hope, it's never too late to make a move. Well, it strikes me hard, when I once heard, "You talk about changing the world when you can't even change your day". It's true, maybe we can start our mission to change the world by changing our day. InsyaAllah, when there's a will, there's a way. We all know, the responsibilities and commitments we have are more than the time that we have but it's never a crime to try our best and make full use of our strength and talent to make the world a better place to live in. At the end of the day, it is our world, it is up to us to decide what we are supposed to do with the globalization.

Dear everyone again, I believe, we all have our own struggles. I have mine. You have yours. I just don't plainly believe in life without struggle. We need challenges and struggles to know that we are weak human beings and there is the greatest up there who we can always depend on. With that being said, stay strong. I know the phrase stay strong can be overrated and in troubles, getting 'stay strong' as an advice won't really help you but that's the truth. Stay strong and keep fighting like a boss. Spread the love because life is too short not to give it all.

Again, dear parents, siblings, family, best friends, friends and strangers, I love you guys endlessly. Let's pray for each other so that we can together be in Jannah :)

Fog.

I see you,
I wanna hold you,
but the fog doesn't let me to,

From afar I could see you in blue
to tell you I love you,
something I never thought of
for I hope the fog will go
leaving us two
in silence of eternity.